Dripping Life March 26

As soon as COVID-19 became a “thing” about two weeks ago, consumers started buying toilet paper (TP)…not just one or two packages but enough for a year. Well, that’s what it looked like anyway.

But why? What happened to leave one for your neighbor? What fear was driving this odd mob behavior? Were we obsessed with having a supply of TP?

One week after that initial raid of the paper goods aisle, we visited several stores -- buying other items -- but we checked out the toilet paper shelves, or shelves where TP was once stocked. Nope - none at HEB. Ditto at Costco. Nada at Wal-Mart and Target.

Quite obviously, people in our neck of the woods are hoarding TP -- for whatever reason. But what is that reason -- or are there several reasons? Will TP become the new currency, as one cartoon suggested, showing a guy at a coffee shop, paying for his drink by ripping pieces of toilet paper from the roll he carried.

Let’s begin where most ideas come from -- the beginning: according to writer Ryan Dugan’s article in the March 20, 2020, edition of Mental Floss, every civilization and culture within that civilization had its own ways of keeping clean.

Primitive groups, for example, used stones or pieces of clay. Other groups used leaves, grass, ferns, maize, fruit, skins, seashells, sand, moss, snow and water.

“The ancient Romans were a bit more sophisticated than the Greeks when it came to cleansing: They opted for a sponge on the end of a long stick that was shared by everyone in the community. When not in use, that stick stayed in a bucket of heavily salted seawater in the communal bathroom.

“Public facilities also were equipped with a long marble bench with holes carved out for—well, you know what they were carved out for—and holes at the front for your sponge-on-a-stick to slide through. Romans didn’t have dividing walls, either, so you sat right next to that cute girl from the insulae* down the road.”

Fast forwarding a little bit, in China during the Tang dynasty (607-907), a Middle Eastern diplomat reported, “They are not careful about cleanliness, and they do not wash themselves with water after doing their necessities, but they only wipe themselves with paper.”

By 1319 -- around the time of the Song Dynasty -- the Chinese emperor decreed that large 2-foot-by-3-foot paper sheets be made for his toilet time. Until then, people in China just used random paper products that were wadded and used like sponges.

The first toilet paper was manufactured on a large scale for that particular use, occurring in what is today Zhejiang province later in the 14th century.

In Colonial America, after settlers left all the creature comforts of Great Britain, I read that the best things they could find were corncobs. (You're joking, right?)

I read that it wasn’t until later, after there were enough printing presses in the new world, that American pioneers started using old newspapers, pamphlets, and catalogs in their facilities. In fact, the reason there was a hole through the corner of the Old Farmer’s Almanac was so people would be able to hang it on a hook in their outhouses.

Fast forwarding once again, around the turn of the 20th century, Richard Sears began mailing his retail merchandise catalogs. These were later called “The Wish book.”

As a history of the Sears catalogs pointed out: “Fueled by the Homestead Act of 1862, America’s westward expansion followed the growth of the railroads. The postal system aided the mail order business by permitting the classification of mail order publications as aids in the dissemination of knowledge entitling these catalogs the postage rate of one cent per pound. The advent of Rural Free Delivery in 1896 also made distribution of the catalog economical.”

But these catalogs, arriving across America, were found to have several uses. Not only could you order about any merchandise you could think of, you also had reading material for trips to the outhouse, and in times of hardship, you could rip out a couple of pages of the catalog to use in place of toilet paper.

Although the first European flushing toilet* was invented as early as 1596, the first toilet paper -- sold as “Gayetty’s Medicated Paper for the Water Closet” – wasn’t developed until around 1857, 261 years later, by American inventor Joseph Gayetty. Consumers saw it as medicated therapeutic paper because it was infused with aloe. This item sold for 50 cents for 500 sheets on a roll.

Unfortunately Gayetty, and others coming after him, were not able to carve out a success with their toilet paper. Success didn’t come to the TP industry until 1867, when the Scott brothers -- Thomas and Edward -- owners of Scott Paper Company, introduced their perforated toilet in rolls to the marketplace. By 1835, several companies had entered the toilet paper business, each trying to develop a better iteration of the original.

Toilet paper quality depends on: durability, coarseness and number of plies. Low-grade TP has only one or two plies and is sometimes rough. Mid-grade is stronger and slightly softer. Premium grade paper has two to four plies, may be softened with lotions or creams and textured, colored, patterned or quilted for a luxurious look and feel.

Surfing the ‘Net, I found Wal-Mart not offering anything other than novelty toilet paper, i.e., holiday prints, etc. At Target, all brands carry notes, reminding, “Due to high demand, item may be unavailable or delayed.” Costco’s TP shelves were empty, and on Amazon, a zoo-like selection of unfamiliar brands -- like Great Lizard, giokfine, Silky and Smooth Soft -- are available for around $2 per roll and often a shipping fee of $2 to $12.

So I repeat my question: "Why the run on toilet paper in Dripping Springs and just about everywhere else?

Some psychologists believe the COVID-19 pandemic, not a familiar experience, has moved the people succumbing to the “herd instinct” into the survivalist mindset. Most of these folks -- we hope -- will survive the fear of being wipe-less.

Others have been sucked into the FOMO -- the “fear of missing out -- if my neighbor is freaking and buying tons of TP, maybe I should buy a few more packages, too, (even though you’re not freaking out- wink, wink).”

Finally, consumer psychologists have diagnosed this irrational herd-like behavior as being fueled by national/international news as well as social media. “What you’ve got to remember is that when 50 packs of toilet paper rolls disappear off shelves, you really notice it because they take up so much room,” consumer psychology Prof. Debra Grace of Griffith University told the BBC. “It’s much more noticeable than, say, 50 cans of baked beans or hand sanitizer disappearing,” she added.

Or perhaps we have just begun to appreciate the words of wisdom spoken by British magnate Sir Richard Branson, “If you're embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don't forget the toilet paper.”

* In Roman architecture, an “insula” an apartment building, or a city block. An insula housed most of the urban citizen population of ancient Rome,

* It’s important to make the distinction of “European,” since Hernán Cortés’ first expedition to Tenochtitlán (modern day Mexico City), in 1519, reported “sanitary closets” in use by the Mexica (Aztec)  that used water to wash away human waste.