Dripping Life
Some say life in the good ole days was a lot easier. Maybe so. At least folks had a well-worn life script to follow.
Back at the turn of the 20th century, much of Texas was rural and agrarian. Families were usually large -- the reason being, many children were needed, as soon as they were old enough, to do farm work, help with the little kids and do housework.
Therefore, once a child reached the age of five or six, they had chores (jobs) to do…and there was a hierarchy. Dad was the big boss and mom, his first lieutenant. Older kids did man’s or woman’s work, while younger kids began with small jobs and worked their way up the ladder to jobs requiring learned skills and more responsibilities.
On any farm, survival was the goal. But the success of every farm was heavily dependent on each family member adhering to the historical hierarchy and their scripts.
When farm children reached the “marrying age,” they found a compatible mate, preferably in the same community and usually someone they had known their entire lives. The couple would farm, have a large family and repeat their scripts into the next generation.
Only war or disaster could change the script.
During WWII, while the men were away, women took jobs left open by the men or in factories now focused on manufacturing weapons of war and products necessary for maintaining the troops, i.e., blankets, uniforms, boots, parachutes, helmets and more.
When the men returned home at war’s end, women were given new scripts: make a comfortable home for your war herohusband, prepare three tasty meals daily, keep a clean house, have babies, raise them to be well and healthy.
After afternoon naps, bathe the children, dress them in clean, freshlyironed clothes, bathe or shower yourself, dress in a crisp and fashionable dress and pumps, style your hair, put on makeup, start dinner and meet your husband at the door with a cheerful attitude -- and the children.
After dinner, clean up, sweep the kitchen, get the kids into bed and keep the house quiet so your husband can read the evening paper in peace. Later, there were TVs to watch. This was the script for good wives/mothers.
Between the 1960s and today, society’s scripts have changed as frequently as Texas weather. Scriptchanging events included the Hippie Movement, growth of single-parent homes, the Vietnam War, the growth of hi-tech and the internet, Operation Desert Storm, 9-11, Iraq and Afghanistan, the devaluing of a college education, global warming, climate change and the many incarnations of COVID-19, etc.
Quickly and silently during the 2.5 years of pandemic, our existing scripts melted away. Many people no longer went into the office, working at home instead. Kids attended school online -- from Pre-K to college. Not having gone through a pandemic before, government leaders made myriad mistakes, some larger than others.
Any vestiges of gun control vanished as the Texas legislators wrote laws making a gun license unnecessary, no need for concealed carry training and certification. Want to protect your family in these uncertain times? Just buy a gun and stick it in your pants. Post-major COVID waves, Texas violet crimes went up. Lives are lost to gun violence daily. But, no worries. Guns and ammo are easy to get now.
So, what about the resulting life scripts?
If you’re a high school student, you may be deciding between enrolling in a four-year college, getting certified in an area of your interest and then getting a job, living a home, or taking a gap year and hiking Scandinavia.
Here are some stats: In 2015, a third of young people, or 24 million of those aged 18 to 34, lived under their parents’ roof in 2015. More young adults lived with parents than with a spouse in 2016. Almost 9 in 10 of the young people who lived with their parents a year ago are still living there.
If you’re a college grad, there are new scripts to be written for you too. Traditionally, you’d get a job -- but now you may want to buy a Eurail Pass and travel Europe. Or, you may apply for an internship or go to grad school.
Someday, you’ll get around to paying back college loans.
So, what about marriage? The average age to get married is 27.4 for women and 29.5 for men.
Most young adults want to establish themselves in careers, finish more degrees, do some traveling or simply take life less seriously for a while. Marriage can happen later, although -- unlike the last generation -- these young people may want to live as roommates with a significant other.
As for kids, in 2021, most families hover between one and two children. In 1850, 6-9 children per family were common.
As for new scripts for people 50 and over?
By this stage of life, some seniors find change daunting, but according to a Pew Research Center report from March 2017, the divorce rate for married people in the US, age 50 and older, is now about double what it was in the 1990s. The divorce rate for those 65 and older tripled from 1990 to 2015. When seniors divorce, it tends to be less acrimonious, and, with people living longer, they don’t want to spend their retirement years in an unhappy situation.
COVID made many of us -- of all ages -- face our own mortality, made us aware that time was moving faster and the meter was ticking. This was a motivation for many to begin writing new scripts.
Because people are living longer, some seniors are starting the business they always wanted to run, while others are rearing grandchildren or moving to new communities where they are a 20-minute drive from grandkids.
Still other seniors, either because of death or divorce, are finding ways to appreciate their new freedom and now spend time volunteering with local charities, at their churches or working freelance in their previous professions.