COVID-World: Feeling helpless? Hopeless?
“We live in uncertain times,” the seminar speaker began.
“Uncertain?”
Do you know what hearing that word does to someone like me? Someone who strives for certainty? That word is like nails on a blackboard.
Honestly, though. Some days we feel helpless. Other days, the whole situation looks hopeless. Is there a difference -- between helpless and hopeless?
The COVID-19 pandemic has conditioned all of us to embrace these uncertain times. As the number of infections continue to climb, I’m trying to understand more about the helplessness of being unable to visit elder family members in senior living or the hopelessness of waving goodbye to a family member we’ve rushed to the emergency room after doctors tell us there’s little they can do.
So, what’s the difference between helplessness and hopelessness?
Christine Liddle, former National Health Service officer in Australia, writes:
“The word ‘helpless’ means not able to do physical things without help. If a person fell out of their wheelchair, they would be helpless until help arrived.”
Being helpless means there are very few set options available in any given situation.
“The word ‘hopeless’ means feeling no hope. A hopeless case. The situation of teaching someone who refuses to listen and the outcome for this situation is not possible to avoid.
Helplessness is more physical, although there’s also a mind-body connection -- like an amputee believing it is possible to run again and overcome obstacles, one at a time.
Hope means knowing the facts and then relying on a certain amount of spirituality, a belief that a higher power of some type is involved.
An uncertain time compels us to listen more, look for more information, support others and remain hopeful, writes Jim Smolove, author of “Four Weddings and a Funeral.”
“This confounding virus mucks with more than our physical well-being,” Smolove continued. “It frustrates our most basic human instincts. It frustrates our ability to demonstrate our compassion. It frustrates our capacity to be there for the people we love, not only in the ICU, but right in our own homes.
“COVID-19 frustrates our most basic human instincts, so the challenge is to acknowledge you're feeling a bit helpless, but not hopeless," she added.
When my sister in Albuquerque was rushed to the hospital with breathing difficulty, she was first diagnosed with pneumonia and then, when the test came back, it was positive for COVID. After five days on oxygen, plus IV antibiotics, plasma, etc., she was sent home. Was she well again? No, but the hospital needed the bed.
Because of the damage the virus caused to her lungs, she must wear oxygen for 90 days. When she complained of hearing loss to the nurse practitioner taking care of her, the nurse confirmed hearing loss was yet another of the secondary damage COVID exacts on its victims. Is it permanent? The nurse said nobody knows.
I feel helpless, but not hopeless. I’ll never give up hope…and I do believe in miracles.
My sister in Houston once again will be attending a virtual funeral held in Amarillo for a member of her daughter-in-law’s family. The first was a month ago for her daughter-in-law’s father. Two weeks later, her brother was diagnosed and hospitalized. He died last week. Cause of death: COVID-19.
Some days, I think we are losing the battle against this monster. But the best option is to keep fighting… and hoping.
Thankfully, several vaccines are emerging, so help is on the way, and if our elected leaders do their jobs, an effective and efficient distribution plan can be developed, a vaccine will be available to those who want it.
So, we’re not helpless, but even after we take the vaccine, we will still be masking and avoiding crowds — at least for a while — until a majority of our population has been vaccinated. We also need to have faith in the scientists, the vaccine developers, the outcomes of the clinical trials and the vetting of the new drugs by the Food & Drug Administration.
Maybe the best option for any of us in this difficult time would be to help by quarantining after traveling, avoid crowds, wear masks — you know the drill… and then listen more, learn more, hope for the best and, most of all, keep the faith.