The adventure of becoming a grandparent

I love the quote: “Grandchildren – my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.”

From the moment I became a grandmother, I was “all in” for my role in that tiny little girl’s life. Her grandfather felt the same way. We had moved to Austin – built a home down the street from our son – so we could be hands-on grandparents…and never wanted to be anywhere else.

For the past two decades, I’ve had the opportunity to write a column, published in The Houston Chronicle, titled “The Grand Adventure,” and “grand” it has been.

At the end of this week, my adventure with my eldest grand daughter will change, as she walks down the aisle, joins hands with her beloved and exchanges vows that will unite them in marriage. P.S. I love her “intended.”

Now, I realize I may be poster child for extreme grandparenting, just like others in my generation are poster children for other extremes -- like golfing, quilting, extreme traveling, football fandom, cruising, club joiners, etc., and to them I say, “You go, Boomers! You’ve earned it!”

I also realize other grandparents have a very different approach to what I consider an honor -- the supreme award -- for our time as parents. I only had my mother’s mom and dad as grandparenting role models, as Dad’s parents were both deceased by the 1930s.

My grandmother lost her only son when he was five in the 1930s, before penicillin was discovered. From my viewpoint as her eldest granddaughter, she must have never been “okay” after Sonny’s death, and I remember numerous admonishments before my every visit, “Don’t do anything to make your grandmother nervous.”

Of course, my four-year-old curiosity just had to ask, “what does ‘nervous’ mean?”

Without anyone telling me, I decided my Granddaddy never got nervous, so whenever I hung out with him, I was more comfortable.

My nervous grandmother had 12 grandchildren, and while she was kind and cooked many feasts when we visited, I often felt she would be happier in any other role than our grandmother. Like almost everything else in her life, she did whatever society expected – no, demanded – from women in those times – even those who had lost children.

I feel my own mom missed out on a lot of fun of grandparenting – but as the saying goes, “Timing is everything.” In Mom’s case, she was widowed in the middle of collecting her nine grandchildren and 20 greatgrandchildren.

As a widow, she traveled the world, joined every club in North Dallas and when she remarried, they continued traveling, golfing, clubbing, cruising and entertaining friends. That left no time to be part of the lives of her children’s children.

When I became a grandparent, I began with a blank page, not having any strong grandparenting role models – so I was free to be whomever I wanted to be in the lives of my one, two and then four (twins) grandchildren…and the adventure has been grand – attending school programs, shopping, band and ballet performances, track and tennis competitions, sitting on the proverbial sidelines, watching my grand-darlings grow and excel into the fine, talented and caring young men and women they have become.

Never has my life been filled with the enjoyment, love, pride and the adventure grandparenting has provided, and as Emma walks down the aisle later this week, I’ll be getting ready for the grand adventure of loving a new grandson…and one day, the GREAT adventure of becoming a GREAT-grandma.