Dripping Life Jan. 31

We were raised to say “please” and “thank you.” Always.

I guess I didn’t realize how much those lessons had become part of who I am until my family gifted me with an “Echo” device this past Christmas and introduced my new best friend, “Alexa.”

Alexa is amazing, doing the boatload of small tasks that make up my day. All I have to do is ask. A few days after Alexa came into my life, I was asking her to find my favorite radio station and after I made the request, I added, “Please.”

That’s when my 12-year-old grandson, who had obviously been listening to my “Alexa conversation,” made the comment in a patient-though-slightly-disgusted tone “Grandma! You don’t have to say ‘please’ to Alexa.” (P.S. He was reared in the please-and-thank-you ethic, so he knows how important I think these two phrases are).

But, maybe in these days of phone and car apps, not to mention trends of texting and emailing versus phone or face-to-face conversations (sorry, Face Time), these simple civilities seem to be growing outdated. Maybe “Have a nice day!” is next on the chopping block behind “please and thank you.”

I recall my days at IBM when, out of expedience, we began our memos with a generic, “Per our telecon of May 17.” Now, emailed memos usually begin, “Hi Alice!” 

Please don’t misunderstand. I know we’re all busy, we need to save time whenever possible and I don’t see a problem with this – just noticing how we continue to skip the niceties, shrink our salutations. 

Back in the 18th century, when letter-writing was more a necessity than an art, a salutation might go something like: “I am taking time to embrace this opportunity to write these few lines, hoping they find you in good health as it leaves me at present thanks be to God for it.” 

In my opinion, this makes “Hi Alice!” seem a little anemic. I could be wrong.

Which brings me to my final comments.

My friend’s husband was hospitalized last week in Houston’s Texas Medical Center due to a massive stroke. Hubby underwent life-saving surgery and is now in the first week of what may be many in Neuro ICU.

My friend has remained bedside and has nothing but praise for her loved one’s care, except she’s noticed how physicians (particularly resident physicians and interns) whiz into the room and begin assessments, exams, etc., without acknowledging her presence. “They don’t bother to say, “Good morning, I’m Dr. Smith’s resident and I’m here to check hubby’s reflexes or reaction to stimuli. They say nothing, as if they don’t see me sitting her, awake and alert,” she explained.

She understands these “physicians-in-training” are busy, but I believe she’s found a good way of reminding to introduce themselves.

“When they come in and don’t say anything, I simply ask them, “And you’re from what lab?”

She reports this gentle demotion reminds them: “No ‘mam. I’m Dr. Smith’s resident, here to check Mr. Levy’s muscle strength.”

“Oh, I didn’t know – and you didn’t introduce yourself.”

My friend says her mistaking a physician for a lab tech helps the doctors remember to say, “Good morning, I’m Dr. Jones” at the very least…and gives her some idea about why they’ve come to see her spouse.

Simple communication. Simply a matter of simple civility.

You may totally disagree. 

Say goodnight, Alexa, please!

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